Tag Archives: Divorce Diary

Five ways to overcome a breakup

#divorce diary#

Breaking up from a relationship that one has taken a whole lot of time to build is not an easy thing to let go, many of those relationships have taken ones time, energy, emotions, and even resources to build.

However, there’s a factor that can make that union come to a halt, this does not mean that both parties have not tried to salvage it, but at times it just has to happen.

That’s not where the real story is though, this blog post is about moving on after it has happened. How you do that is what I will be talking about below.

So much stress usually comes with a breakup, first of all, you think of the memories shared whether good or bad, then again the reality of life sets in, where do I start from? Who do I turn to? and so many other questions that are raised.

After my break up something’s I applied have really worked for me, therefore, I felt the need to share so that others can give them a trial in their moment of need.

The basics after a breakup are numerous but I chose to go with these five (5);

1. Find yourself (explore)

2. Engage yourself with something.

3. Change your environment.

4. Make new friends.

5. Be strong in faith and move on.

Explore (Find yourself)

This is a way of finding your real self by being natural, this is the most difficult period to deal with because apparently, someone who has been part of your life for only God knows when and you, saying goodbye to the person has to be a very bitter pill to swallow.

This is about the time you will be thinking where do I go from here? How do I start all over again or who will want me like this? Nobody needs to want you just want, love and trust yourself.

Emotions are usually high during these periods, but focus, on the things that makes you happy rather than the ones that make you keep falling back to think about all the negative situations whether good or bad in your mind.

It’s also good to sulk yes, but don’t dwell too much in it because that too may lead to depression, and by the time that happens, it will be very difficult to come out, therefore, it may become an illness and untimely death.

I believe nobody wants to go to an early grave simply because of a breakup.

Engage yourself with something

You might have been nurturing that dream for only God knows when, but it has never manifested, and again it never left you though, my fear go for it. Only do the things that you are passionate about and what makes you happy. Because the bottom line is being happy, get too involved that you hardly have time to reminisce or sulk over a breakup.

Change your environment if necessary.

Nobody wants to remain in an environment that remains them of negative memory, sometimes you walk around and you feel the memories or see people around you that reminds you of all the heartache you’ve been through.

If you can, please have a change of environment where you’ll start afresh and with people who know little or nothing about you. Remaining in your old environment is not a bad idea too. But some people will naturally want to torture your by constantly reminding you of what you as the victim is trying to forget thinking they are helping, some will show you fake or insincere sympathy wherein real sense they are happy it happened to you.

Make new friends.

If you are rue cheerful type who likes to socialize, this could actually be easier for you. This is because it will not take you time to meet people and make interactions, discuss any topic of interest with people around you and by so doing you are open to a new relationship with total strangers whom you may find interesting too.

Be strong in faith and move on.

If you are the religious type and you feel you’ll want to make some devotional commitments then go for it, there is no peace as the peace of trusting someone whom you know you can trust wholeheartedly.

Don’t just let it be the preliminary of your existences, because you cannot fold your arms and just trust in God and expect manners from heaven to fall, no dear, you need to be up and doing, to salvage yourself respect, your needs are always there staring you in the face and no one to cater for you. And if you have children too, darling get out of that sober mood and experience the real world.

All the points I’ve listed above, really worked out for me, and I also saw some other people who have been through such situations, I felt I should share for anyone who is passing through a breakup, or is bereaved, you can apply the same and I bet you won’t regret ever trying it.

Bag snatcher courses commotion at Wuse market bridge in Abuja.

#news#

A petty thief have this morning caused a heavy traffic at the wide market bridge leading to sheraton hotel.

The thief who was said to have snatched a handbag belonging to a lady ran under the bride for cover after being chased by some two mobile police officers.

Un-lookers who also joined in the chase could not apprehend him because he was said to be carrying a very big and long knife. Eye witnesses who identified him called on the police who where on the bridge to come and shot him on the leg so that he won’t be able to getaway.

It was such a dramatic scenery as vehicles parked at the roadside to catch a glimpse of what was happening when the thief was threatening to take a dive in the flowing river under the bridge.

Yours sincerely left before he could finally be caught, see photos from the scene.

Check out this throw back photo of Tinubu, Osinbanjo and others.

This is a throwback picture of former governor of Lagos State Sir Bola Ahmed Tinubu alongside Vice President Yemi Osinbanjo and three others

Deadly virus that eat marriages and end them quickly

Each time I hear people mention how difficult women are or can be, or how ungrateful they are it blows my mind. In reality, nobody will want to be a burdened item on anybody.

Meanwhile, people have really never taken their time to want to understand each other properly before drawing conclusions. A man who married a woman he has coated for a while got to see her zeal to excel in all her endeavor, cannot just wake up one day to kill her dream simply because he wants to be in control.

CAREER

‘Women love to do whatever makes them happy especially what they really want to achieve.

As a spouse, you make so many promises to your wife before marriage to allow her to trade the path she has chosen, but will immediately turn to a monster the moment she has gotten to his house.

Some will not just stop at the controlling freak they are, they will be so dominating, intimidating and all the _nating_ you could know.

Others are so selfish, that won’t even allow the wife to visit her relatives. In an advanced world where everyone needs to survive, every woman needs to be up and doing, there are times her little efforts can save the day too. When she chose to go about something yours is to counsel her, show her the nitty gritty of what she is about to involve herself, is she ready for the challenge or will want to back out the moment it gets tough?

Find a professional to talk to her if need be and support her to reach her goals.

EMOTIONAL

Show a woman true love and you will be the happiest man alive. When the said that love is not everything but at least it forms the basis of the relationship. A woman who is so in love with a man can overlook any Obstacle that the relationship might come with.

Treating a woman like trash simply because she’s already in your house kills your relationship faster than you know it. Why abandoned all those small things you use to do to draw her attention?

Now! On a very serious note, those small I love you, the outing, the petting and all that do them and see if you’ll have a troublesome woman lying beside you. The smallest things we take for granted is what really destroy so many relationships is

COMMUNICATION
This particular one kills faster than Ebola, in every relationship, communication is very vital. So many marriages have ended due to lack of proper communication.

Effective communication help to clear whatever misconception there is between the both of you, must men complain about their wife’s being too demanding (financially) mostly, have you communicated to her on what your take-home income is? Let her into the picture, let her know and it will never be the same again.

APPRECIATION

Women love to be appreciated for the little things they do, and believe it or not, that also push them to do a whole lot more. Again turning a blind eye to all she does is honestly not a good signal too so learn to appreciate her efforts.

Taking care of children and other responsibilities is no joke even though they may seem so.

EGO

The worst of them all, who should apologize first? After all, I am not at fault here, or I am the head why should I succumb to her stubbornness, etc

CONCLUSION

Although there are some few stubborn and ungodly women who can go to any extent in frustrating a man regardless of how good that man is, such a number should not classified and generalized all as bad.
When you applied a little out of this few topics above, just sit back and enjoy a home free of unlimited love and respect from the woman you chose as a life partner.

So many things are happening today because most of the point I raised above are no longer in existence in most households and so it kills the union so fast before you even realize it.
Leave a comment if you agree with some of my thought, you can write your own perception and contribution at the comment section too so that others can benefit.

How #10years challenge ended my relationship, young woman lament.

Filed photo

A young woman has took to social media to share her grieve after her boyfriend of two years walked out on her.

According to the young woman,  she had participated  in the recent trend called the 10 years challenge where she shared her picture ten years ago and the recent one. This now got her boyfriend upset, according to him he doesn’t like people who change colours as she used to be dark back in the days but have bleached her skin now. read her post below.

Who do you really trust in times of distress?

Many people (women) are going about carrying heavy burdens in their minds with no one to Share with due to lack of trust.

Judging by my experience,  one would not blame them for concealing such even if they are dying inside.  Gone are the days where its said that a problem shared is half solved.

Many time women smile,  laugh and interact positively with the outside world,  they can really be good pretenders when it comes to issues surrounding family or their relationships with their spouses. This’ does not mean that they don’t want to share their problems, but the only challenge is how trust level has really deteriorate.

Share your problems today and by tomorrow the whole town is aware of your predicament.  This singular act has forced so many women to keep things to themselves even if its killing them.
A woman just died of cardiac arrest,  something which is uncommon with women,  i am not saying it’s impossible but its always rear.

        Who to trust when in distress 

Now,  having made all the noise above, we are now in a civilized society where we have experts who handle such cases,  though not every one can afford a therapist but there are centres that are established mainly to give listening ears to especially women and girls.

Walk in there and seek for advice.  Friendship this days have been abused so seek help from those NGOs and stop dying in silence, there’s always a way out when you seek help from the right places,  by so doing you are relieving yourself of so much unnecessary stress in your life.