It’s no longer a new thing that must times you sit back and start to think about what if you had done this or that? Many times we become so hard on ourselves that we feel the entire thing was on us.
Some will go as far as blaming themselves for not pushing too hard to stay or work it out.
Yes, it is true, that even myself feel that too, especially when someone who knows nothing about your entire story would not even listen to you before jumping at you with the, ” you should have been more patient” kind of look.
But on this article, I beg to differ that it was never your fault at all so free yourself from the bondage of if’s and but’s.
The 5 facts I have come to realize that it wasn’t your fault are:
Lack of commitment
In a relationship that no one was willing to commit themselves in, probably it gradually died down.
When you set your mind to achieve something and you work towards it diligently, it usually becomes a success, however, lack of true commitment where you always find flimsy excuses to dodge out certain responsibility.
Relationships are meant to be nurtured just like a newborn kid, never expect it to grow on its own because it will surely die.
Passion can be a driven force in everything, and that includes marriage, when you are so passionate about your partner and sees whatever they do as part of the passion to help keep your relationship together goes a long way.
Being passionate doesn’t only mean the intimate aspect of the relationship, but it also includes the connection towards each other, liking everything about your partner, etc.
When these attribute is not coming to play you should know that your marriage is half gone and so there’s little you can do to save it.
Of course, it has to come from both sides otherwise it becomes one side.
A one-sided sacrifice in marriage or any kind of relationship means that you are the only one always trying to make it work.
Your partner does little or nothing at all, and as time goes by you begin to feel drained by the whole thing. It is not just enough to come together but also sustain it.
Sacrifices can come in little or big form, and when your partner does all that and you are not a part of it whatsoever, then that becomes an issue to the one who is always up and doing
Some spouses are so selfish in marriage to the extent you’ll want to believe that the other partner is only there to answer to the other.
Relationships of any kind are supposed to be mutual, not totally equal, but with each person having a sense of belonging and a say in everything.
Being submissive as a wife to a man differs from being dominated. And so each time, marriages should try to work or co-exist with each giving and taking not just taking and taking always.
When you share everything almost equally with each taking their responsibility, selfishness will surely be the last thing on anyone’s mind, therefore, there will be a harmonious relationship.
A relationship that has no good communication skills is surely bound to fail.
Over the years I’ve come to realize that leaving trivial things without talking about them grows and becomes something more serious.
When there’s an issue that needed urgent attention, trash them out immediately but when you brush them under the carpet thinking they are nothing, they actually build up and become something more serious which in most cases got out of hand.
This means that the more communication you have with each other, the more you understand yourself to work things out. When you know what your partner detests, I believe if you have genuine love and concern for that person, you wouldn’t want to trade in the direction of what hurt or makes your partner unhappy.
Blaming oneself sometimes can not be avoided, because, in today’s world, people tend to find fault with anything anyone does, therefore, making you look like the culprit when in real sense you are the victim.
The best thing to do to avoid that feeling of guilt is to always stay positive, focus more on the positive side of your decision, be yourself and believe that you took the best of the best decision for yourself and owe no one an apology because it is all about you, your happiness and your entire life.
You might have tried to put all these 5 points mentioned above and it was still not working you just have to know that something is never meant to be, so take charge.