Anyone who gets married does that not so it can end one day, or for the fun of it like a taste run which will later be abandoned when the result does not favors you.
But when you get into marriage, you have some expectation from your partner which will make the relationship stronger rather than weakens it.
A lot of parents today always take things for granted and not work or act on them appropriately until things get out of hand and escalate beyond repairs.
I know we are Africans, and most of the sermons normally given to girls who are embarking on a marital journey are that they should not let a third party into their home.
Meaning that whatever the situation the two encounter, they have to try to and learn how to settle their differences perfect.
Although it is a good practice because this will give them room to grow and be matured at heart most especially when the union is being blessed with children.
Now, that is where we are totally getting it wrong and the moment this perception is not changed, most marriages are likely to end in divorce, because by that time, things have already degenerated beyond remedy, and both parties have reached a dead end then it is irreversible to try to save it.
The most important thing that people need to really understand is that courtship is totally different from real marriage itself.
And so no matter how well you think you know each other, when eventually under the same roof, a lot of things come to play which had no idea in the past.
So when it is said that no third party, married couples tend to be roasting in silence, or, the few that might summon the courage to want to open up are being shut down by either relatives or religious leaders reminding them that it is for better or for worst. And this often happens especially if the man is influential or well to do, or if it’s the man may be the parent of the girl are some top shots who he has some financial benefits attached to it or otherwise. They will now make it look like it was a taboo for any of them to seek help.
When children are involved, it makes the matter worst especially for the woman, she dares not cough, her mother will be on her throat with all kind of sermons, “if I had left your father will you have to find yourself here”? and so that is how everyone will be suffocating with no solution until all have reached their limit.
These are the worst set of people that can easily frustrate one from committing suicide.
This is so because they are so judgmental when it comes to other people’s problems, in fact, they are good at turning a victim into being the culprits without actually taking time to know the root cost of the problem.
WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE
In some developed countries, couples have the right to take a break, this could be in form of soul searching where everyone looks inwardly to identify their strength, weakness and where they really need to work.
What exactly is he or she lacking in that relationship that really needs to be worked on? And the best way to curtail this ugly trend is to allow everyone some freedom of expression.
This should also not serve as an avenue for misbehavior by both parties but rather a solution to make it work.
Some parent doesn’t even allow their daughters to speak; they claimed to be the best elders, therefore, giving more concern to their reputation rather than the happiness of their word. And in most cases where the woman ends up being at the receiving end.
I met a young woman some years back who happens to venture into prostitution and asked her why she embarked on her journey? She told me that was the only way to save herself as she was forcefully married off to a man she doesn’t love.
And when the marriage wasn’t going on fine and she complained to the parent, she was not being taken seriously and was forced to stay anyway, and that was the best decision she felt she could take for herself.
In as much as parents will not give proper attention to their children who are in this institution called marriage a listening ear to air their views and get the desired help needed in the early stage of their problems.
then Divorce will end up remaining an option for the married couples who have totally lost interest in being together. What is your view on this?